It is becoming increasingly obvious that I am not Mother of the Year material, which is a shame because I wanted to wear a jewelled tiara and give an acceptance speech about world peace, or am I thinking of another competition altogether?
Anyway, following two recent foodie conversations with IJ, aged 6, I am starting to feel a tad inadequate in the parenting department.
Firstly, when telling me about her day at school which included someone falling off a chair during their apple and milk break, she suddenly interrupted with the line:
"Do you know what an apple is, Mummy?"
Which left me quite taken aback.
Then later we had the following conversation:
IJ: "Do you remember you told me bread turns green when it gets really really really old?"
Me: "Yes, it's called mould."
IJ: "Well I put some in the front of my school bag to see what happened."
Me: "Oh. And did it go green?"
IJ: "Yes. And a little bit smelly."
Me: "So where is this bread now?"
IJ: "It's still in my school bag."
What the … ?!
I've looked and she is right. In the front of her school bag is a green mass that is quite indescribable. Words such as rank, disgusting and rotten come to mind, and for some reason the mould has attached itself to a ball of blu-tac, at least I think that it what it is.
Not Mother of the Year.